A Modest Collection of Thoughts

This is very old, well not very old, but pretty old. However, after the Berman video today I was trying to remember what was the last video I had watched so many times in one day. This was the winner.

A good question to ask is how far this sets black people back.

Justice…Thine name is Paperboy

1988 was the year that the epic story of the Paperboy was finally immortalized in all it’s digital glory for the Nintendo Entertainment System. Developed by Atari and released for various game consoles in the 80′s, the NES version was by far the most popular. Paperboy allowed kids to take command of the dangerous world that is the life of a paperboy. The object of the game was to deliver papers to all the subscribers and vandalize the non-subscribers (teaching them a valuable lesson that continuing to not subscribe to the paper would leave them open to daily attacks) while avoiding the dangerous conditions of the street. If you damaged a subscribers house they would immedietly cancel their subscription. The only way to win them back was by impressing the neighborhood with a perfect route of 100% delivery accuracy (or pitching a perfect game as the local paperboys refer to it, ask one the next time you see him.. they’ll tell you)

The world of the Paperboy was littered with danger though. From remote control cars to dogs the streets where not safe for the Paperboy. Some of the other threats to your route included crazy women with knives, bees, fire hydrants, break dancers (the windmill is a deadly weapon a paperboy must avoid at all costs), cars, skateboarders, tricyclists, construction workers, drunks, a mini tornado, the Grim Reaper, and the most dangerous of them all…….curbs. Once faced with a curb the Paperboy would crumble into a heap on the sidewalk never to be seen again (unless you had more lives then you would just restart the level).

The best part of the game was at the end of each day’s routes the town you lived in had a convienient training course where you would leap off ramps, avoid sliding doors, and test your paper throwing acccuary with various hoops. A successful run would give you extra papers for the next days route as well as bonus points and extra lives.

The Paperboy’s own brand of justice for those who chose not to subscribe to the paper was brutal and efficient. Broken windows were the least of their problems once the Paperboy was done with them. People would be forced to subscribe just to rid themselves of the daily torture that the paperboy would rain upon them. The Paperboy was extremely serious about his job….deadly serious.

One of the things I always questioned as a kid was when the Paperboy would collide with an object or a person, who he actually die or was he just injured? It would be alot more exciting if a poorly controlled remote control car operated by an 8 year old could actually kill a paperboy. Either way Paperboy was an exciting game that finally gave credit to the little guy…..the Paperboy.

Courtesy of Deadspin

(Caption: Yes I posted about the GSW game just so I could use this outstanding picture)

Minnesota 83, Chicago 67

I wan’t to propose a new rule. If you can’t score at least 70 points in a game, you automatically start the next game down 15 points. It’s embarrassing that an NBA team could only score 67 points in a game. Never mind the fact they were playing an NBA Junior Varsity squad last night. Chicago needs to make a trade right now. Gut the team, don’t inflate the value of Deng and Gordon.

Cleveland 84, Portland 83

I think Brandon Roy is an excellent basketball player. But LeBron James is the best basketball player in the NBA. Fools use the Kobe argument (save it). Bron Bron hit the game winner with 0.9 on the clock.

Golden State 116, New Orleans 103

Another gem from Chris Paul (MVP!), but when Bdavis and Stephen Jackson want to win a game, they are going to win said game. Hopefully the addition of notorious malcontent Chris Webber won’t hurt them too much. 4 Hornets players put up double doubles, and they still come out with a loss. Can someone explain what GSW needs Webber for?

Utah 100, New York 89

You know things are bad when you lose two starters (Eddy Curry and Quentin Richardson) to the infamous “flu-like symptoms” and thats the main reason this game was closer than it should have been. You should also realize that any time I have the chance to poke a stick at the dead, lifeless hump that is the New York Knicks, I’m going to do it.

Making Easy Money Pimping Hoes In Style…Memphis Bleek. What in god’s name? This entry really doesn’t even require much more information. Bleek first appeared on Jay Z’s premier album Reasonable Doubt, on the acclaimed track Coming of Age. Bleek set fire to the track, providing the perfect immature foil to Hov’s more mature, dollar induced style of hustling. Recognizing the potential in the youngin‘ Hov stepped down from his narcotics founded pedestal to school the young up and comer. Berating him to focus on business and not bling, Bleek seemed to be taking a lesson not only on how to survive and thrive on the streets, but also as an artist.

Somewhere between then and now that message was lost.

Bleek’s career has been an pointless mish-mash of forgettable commercial tracks interspersed with filler songs. In fact, on each of Bleek’s four solo projects, the stand out verses came from guest artists. From Hov’s verse on The Coming to the solo Jay Z track Dear Summer on 534, Bleek has been kept in the house more than Nas as a youth.

For some reason I picture Bleek sitting in one of Hov’s various cribs, constantly rolling up like the weakest link in Beanie’s crew in State Property I. If Jay Z had a bad day, I’m sure he struck out at Bleek on more than one occasion.

But nonetheless, Memphis Bleek has managed to avoid the fate of artists like Amil and Sauce Money, maybe due to his willingness to remain at 5’4″ his entire life.

I'm out here slingin bringin the drama, tryin to come upin the game and add a couple of dollar signs to my nameI'm out here servin disturbin the peace, life could be betterlike my man reclined in plush leather seatsHe's sellin weight, I'm sellin eight... ballssixteen tryin to graduate to pushin quarters y'allI ain't gon' sweat him I'ma let him come to meIf he give me the nod then these niggaz gon' seeI'm tired of bein out here round the clockand breakin day, and chasin crackers up the block for my payI'm stayin fresh, so chickens checkI'm tryin to step up to the next level, pushin Vettes to the JetsDiamonds reflect from the sun, directly in your equilibirumand stunned I'm waitin for my day to comeI got the urge, to splurge, I don't wanna lifetime sentencejust give me the word

Chorus

[JZ] Hey fella I been watchin you clockin[MB] Who me holdin down this block it ain't nothin   You the man nigga now stop frontin[JZ] Hahahh I like your style[MB] Nah, I like YO' style[JZ] Let's drive around awhile[MB] Cool nigga[JZ] Here's a thou'[MB] A G?  I ride witchu for free   I want the longterm riches and bitches[JZ] Have it all; now listen to me   You let them other niggaz get the name, skip the fame   Ten thou' or a hundred G keep yo' shit the same[MB] On the low?[JZ] Yeah, the only way to blow   You let your shit bubble quietly[MB] AND THEN YOU BLOW![JZ] Hey keep your cool   The only way to peep a fool is let him show his hand   Then you play your cards[MB] Then he through dealin I understand[JZ] Don't blow your dough on hotties[MB] The only thing I got in this world is my word and my nuts   and won't break em for nobody![JZ] Hah, I like resume, pick a day, you can start[MB] From now until death do us part...

As I sat on the 1 train this morning I kept praying to myself that maybe, just maybe, the train would stop at 207th street instead of going express from Dyckman to 242nd. But my prayers were interrupted by this man who decided to use his speakerphone to check his voicemail. WHY?


It makes no sense to me. I don’t wanna hear this shyt… I just wanna ride the train in peace; maybe get off at my own damn stop, instead of having to walk 8 blocks just to catch a bus to take me across the 207th street Bridge!

TURN THAT SHYT OFF!

Am I wrong for wanting a peaceful ride? Am I?

What the hell is it with big people…and I don’t mean fat people, cause there is a difference, I simply mean big people. Don’t you see that your elbow has just came in contact with my face… don’t you even look down… SHYT! Then you look at me as if I’m supposed to move just cause yo ass wanted to squeeze in… F*CK YOU NICCA! I was seated here first… sit in one of the other 1,000 seats on this f*ckin’ train that isn’t stopping at 207th street. And they really wanna raise the fares!?!?!

Sheeeeiiiiiit don’t even get me started!

You’ll take it when I give it to you, and like it.

Washington 108, Toronto 104, OT

So last year, Greg Ruffin inexplicably tossed the ball skyward with about 3 seconds remaining in the game Wizards leading by 3. Figuring a win was in the bag, he tossed the ball straight up to try to kill the clock. Sadly he didn’t throw the ball high enough. Morris Peterson of the Raptors nabbed the ball out of mid air, and nailed a 3 pointer at the buzzer to send the game into an improbable OT. The Wizards were pretty much dead in the water at that point, and pretty much got blown out of overtime. Fast forward to last night. Wizards up 3, 1.8 seconds left on the clock, Toronto inbounding on Wizards half. Anthony Parker who to date is still only famous for being Candace Parker’s older brother nails a 3 pointer off a curl play with two people in his face, at the buzzer. Somehow even without Caron Butler, they managed to hang on in overtime this time around. Who wants to play that Toronto team in the playoffs?

Boston 117, Miami 87

Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen didn’t play. Paul Pierce scored 7 points. AND THE HEAT STILL LOST BY 30!! If there was ever an argument for relegation to be brought to American professional sports, the Heat would be right in that argument. That’s not an NBA team right now.

Seattle 88, San Antonio 85

No Tony Parker = bad loss to terrible team. Rookie wunderkind Kevin Durant hit the game winner (his second this season) and the Spurs took a loss. Seems they are signing Damon Stoudamire (how did Boston not make a run there) so Parker is probably more injured than they are letting on.

Don’t look up, don’t ever look up…

*Could be fake, but I don’t care.

Ménage-a-Trois Fantasy Draft hosted by the Mel Kiper Jr (Sans the hair), of Ménage A Trois Cleophus!

Are there Sexier Picks then mine, YES? Would someone have a different list, OF COURSE! But this is my BLOG so I put up what i want to put up! These are the women in order, I would love to have a Ménage-a-Trois with…

Welcome to the 2008 Ménage-a-Trois Fantasy Draft:

#10… Sally Richardson & Pam Grier (Mother daughter / Cougar Division)
This pick unites multiple generations of Black men — those from the 70′s thru 90′s. . Between the two of them they have had sex with Many Black stars of the past… Jim Brown (mother) Deion Sanders (Daughter). –
#9… Laura London & Cassie (Fucked Puffy Division)
Laura London grew on me after the Movie ATL… Her BFF Cassie can’t sing a lick but I am sure she knows how to lick, it’s the only logical explanation for how she got a record deal. It is on public record that Puffy has Fu#ked the both of them..

#8… Michelle Rodriquez & Claudette Ortiz (City High) (Rice and Beans Division)
This is my all Latina pick of the draft. Michelle is not the sexiest Latina out there but there is something about her I love. I heard she only dates women but hey that adds to the fun of the hunt… I love girls who are in great shape plus she is tough as nails. She would enjoy me throwing her around the bedroom a little. Claudette Ortiz is like Rap music on my I-Touch, a throw back to the 90′s. I loved this chick in High school and she will never leave my heart, if she comes to Harlem I’ll get her City High!

#7… Paula Patton & Janet Jackson (Bi Chicks into S & M who do Coke)…
What you know about my COKE/S&M division. Paula does WHITE LINES, common knowledge, hell, her husband wrote a song about it. She is also bi (perfect for my draft)… Janet, is a freak! She would have been a top 5 pick but she dates JD (Lil Turd) and well she had to lose points for that.

#6… Allyson Felix & Serena Williams (I Want the condom to break so they can have my child division)… I am an advocate of safe sex however, in this case I want to go raw, in hopes to pull a “Tom Brady” and impregnate them both. Allyson is a multi-medal Olympian who is as fast as the wind and has a sexy body. Serena has a butta face but her body is sick and the the thought of bouncing quarters off her a$$ is too much to pass on. These two ladies are Physical specimens that will allow me to have a super athletic son. He would be a real life Universal Solider. Combining their DNA and my knowledge of sports, my sons will be First Round Draft picks in some sport!

#5… Jessica Alba & Jessica Biel (WHITE castle Division) This one would piss off Middle America. I would film this intense 3 way action, buy a bottle of Viagra and wear these young ladies out until the cows came home. The 4 hour film of hardcore action would make me millions on the web. White folks would be more upset at me then Obama winning the election. (Maybe not that mad)

#4… Angelina Jolie & Kim Kardashian (Freaks of Hollywood)
Angelina is just sexy and documented freak who likes to have sex with women. Kim Kardashian is a freak and likes to film her self having sex. This is a win win situation.. Angelina use to have a romper room in her house for crazy sexual encounters. Kim would have had a higher score but she slept with brandy’s lil brother. *BRANDY’s lil Brother*

#3… Gabrielle Union & Melinda Williams (best friends make best Ménage Partners division) This is my COCO night of love. These two young ladies have sexy chocolate skin and I have some Milk waiting for them. Thousands of kids will die from their stomach acid on this night of passion.

#2… Rosario Dawson & Alicia Keys (Two girls from the LES Division) Both girls are from the LES in NYC… I think I would have Alicia play the Piano while Rosario and I get the night started… I can see the weed smoke billowing in the back ground to give Rosario a flashback of KIDS and then have Alicia Keys rock her outfit from Smokin’ Ace’s and get the party started. Sorry I had to go 2 the bathroom, just the thought of this got me a little too excited!

#1… Halle Berry & Beyonce Knowles (Number 1 on every Black man’s list, except for David Justice, Wesley “I ain’t paying Taxes” Snipes, Spike Lee!
One’s part deaf/crazy the other wears crazy wigs/weaves, but I love them both. What man would not want to be in this situation? The Grand Master of the KKK wouldn’t even turn down this combination. Money, power, beauty– it’s the ultimate combination. It’s like having a team with Jordan & Magic, Barry & Emmitt, Ruth & Bonds, Frosted Flakes & Milk… You just can not beat this combo… How much would you pay to see this threesome on Video? I don’t care if I look like Shrek, people would pay 500 dollars to see this Ménage in action. Obviously while filming this action packed film I would throw up the ROC just to see how it feels to be Jay-Z for a nut!

HONORABLE MENTION… I have no idea who this girl is but she is my Sub Alternate!

She is my Ace up the sleeve!!!! She is like Tony Romo, an undrafted free agent who will become a star.