Whassa matter, Eli? Wondering why you made my list? You’re the most inanimate person alive today… but I love you more than I could ever express.

You will never hold my heart like Chad does, but man, that guy is so full of life. You, my friend, are a walking robot. After winning the NFC Championship game, you plodded along the field searching for the only person you wanted in your arms after the game… the punter.

And, damn… that post-game interview. You reacted like you just won a Jeff Spicoli
Look-a-like contest… “I-am-glad. No-I-am-very-happy. Ha. This-is-me-happy. We-are-going-to-the-Super-Bowl.”

So, why do I love him so much? Good question.

I think because he gets crapped on so much. He’s a very good quarterback and seems to be a very good guy… yet, he gets so much crap. Uncalled for. He’s the man.

And anybody who can score a chick like this, with the personality of a radar gun has to be good in the sack…

…d$’s coming Eli… Hide your heart, bro…