What they call this is a license to print money.


Mark Madsen should go on Dancing with the Stars….

So last weekend, at age 24, I tried my first Cheesesteak. I know what your thinking. Yea it is weird that I have never had a Cheesesteak before, but I couldn’t justify having a Cheesesteak just for the hell of having a Cheesesteak. I needed my first Cheesesteak to be authentic directly from Philly.

Geno’s Steaks was the place that my wildest dreams would come to fruition, but not before some trying times. As me and my little lady first approached Geno’s we were in for a devastating turn of events….a line halfway down the block. I was starving, I had only eaten half a banana in the morning so that I would not ruin my appetite for Cheesteak. The only good thing about waiting on the line for 50 minutes was it gave me the opportunity to look at pictures of all the celebrities that have also trekked to Philly for a taste of magic. From Tony Danza, Sly Stallone, and Shaq to Brian McKnight, Bobby Abreu, and Ryan Seacrest…they have all been part of the glory that is Geno’s.

But be forewarned my non english speaking friends, Geno’s does not tolerate your kind. All of the workers where wearing shirts that said “This is America, when ordering speak English”. If I didn’t speak English I might have been offended but chances are if I didn’t speak English I wouldn’t of understood what it said on the shirt anyway. (more…)

If you’re going to send flowers to your girl at her office, keep in mind that several popular floral companies leave the personalized card visible on the outside of the box.

…which means that a card proclaiming: “I hope you recover from the typhoid soon!”– even if the card was simply referencing an inside joke between the two of you- will be seen by everyone in the mail room and everyone on her floor.

* I actually thought this was funny, and if he didn’t live in Miami, he WOULD get laid tonight. However, I assume most women would not be so amused.