Thanks for watching Seinfeld, next on Prison Break!

Narrator: Michael Vick was an average quarterback, and a legendary ladies man. His wild ride came to an end one day, when his best friends ratted him out for numerous dog fighting offenses. Now, with no team to call his own, Vick’s back is against the wall in a Virginia County Jail.

::Phone Rings:: camera spins around a semi lit, poorly painted room. A single, naked lightbulb swings from the ceiling, casting a sickly yellow glow on the peeling paint. A black hand reaches out of the shadows.

Marcus Vick: Hullo dis the country ho’

#7: Ey bro, it’s me man…they got me locked in here man, I ain’t do that shit man. Yo where mama at!?

Marcus: Ey bro, whatchu goin’ on ’bout? Ey man you set still man, I be right out in’dere…gimme’bout a week. An’ don’t be worry’in man…I got mama.

Narrator: Now only one man can help the fomer star, only one man can free him from his bondage. That man is…

::Marcus Vick steps into the light, he removes his shirt to display an intricately designed tatoo that covers his entire upper body::

Narrator: Marcus Vick!!!

Marcus: ey bro set tight I’se comin’!